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GRE寫作范文五十一

The?following?is?taken?from?a?memo?from?the?advertising?director?of?the?Silver?Screen?Movie?Production?Company.??

"According?to?a?recent?report?from?our?marketing?department,?fewer?people?attended?movies?produced?by?Silver?Screen?during?the?past?year?than?in?any?other?year.??And?yet?the?percentage?of?generally?favorable?comments?by?movie?reviewers?about?specific?Silver?Screen?movies?actually?increased?during?this?period.??Clearly,?the?contents?of?these?reviews?are?not?reaching?enough?of?our?prospective?viewers;?so?the?problem?lies?not?with?the?quality?of?our?movies?but?with?the?public\'s?lack?of?awareness?that?movies?of?good?quality?are?available.??Silver?Screen?should?therefore?spend?more?of?its?budget?next?year?on?reaching?the?public?through?advertising?and?less?on?producing?new?movies."??

Americans?are?spending?millions?of?their?hard?earned?dollars?to?see?the?latest?theatrical?productions,?and?we?here?at?Silver?Screen?want?to?exploit?our?share?of?that?profit.??Surveys?have?proven?that?our?movies?are?better?than?ever,?but?yet?our?attendance?is?lower?than?ever.??This?finding?screams?one?shortcoming:??advertisement.??

Try?to?think?of?the?last?movie?you?remember.??The?movie?which?probably?leaps?into?everyone\'s?mind?is?Independence?Day.??Why???Certainly?not?because?of?the?actual?film,?but?because?of?all?the?\'hype\'?which?the?movie?received.??Furthermore,?this?grand?production?paid?off?big?for?the?production?company.??

Does?anyone?that?you?know?drive?by?the?theatre?just?to?see?what?is?playing?and?then?pick?a?film?based?on?the?catchiness?of?the?title???No.??Viewers?buy?tickets?for?movies?which?they?have?seen?effectively?advertised?on?television?and?radio.??

Not?only?must?Silver?Screen?advertise?more,?but?we?must?advertise?when?it?really?counts:?Monday?Night?Football,?the?evening?news,?awards?shows,?etc.??

Everyone?has?heard?the?saying,?"you?must?spend?money?to?make?money",?and?it?is?proven?true?in?this?industry.??

From?a?completely?economical?standpoint,?the?ad?is?actually?more?important?than?the?film?itself.??Consumers?are?compelled?by?the?preview?and?buy?a?ticket.??I?am?not?suggesting?that?we?compromise?the?integrity?of?our?films,?but?I?cannot?overstate?the?importance?of?this?decision.

Therefore,?I?submit?that?the?Silver?Screen?Production?Company?attempt?to?secure?30%?of?the?fiscal?budget?for?advertisement.??It?will?be?the?best?money?you?have?ever?spent.??

Commentary??

The?writer?of?this?seriously?flawed?response?has?adopted?the?position?that?she?or?he?works?for?Silver?Screen?and?that?it?is?her?or?his?job?to?present?in?expanded?form?the?fallacious?reasoning?of?the?argument.??In?so?doing,?the?writer?turns?the?argument?task?into?an?issue-like?discussion.??The?writer?presents?no?analysis?of?the?argument.??

The?paper?is?characterized?by?a?series?of?undeveloped?paragraphs,?yet?there?is?some?variety?in?syntax?and?there?is?adequate?control?of?both?language?and?the?elements?of?writing.??However,?even?though?the?writing?may?be?typical?of?a?4?score?level,?the?absence?of?any?kind?of?critique?requires?a?score?of?2.

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