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GRE寫作范文三十二

Six?months?ago?the?region?of?Forestville?increased?the?speed?limit?for?vehicles?traveling?on?the?region\'s?highways?by?ten?miles?per?hour.??Since?that?change?took?effect,?the?number?of?automobile?accidents?in?that?region?has?increased?by?15?percent.??But?the?speed?limit?in?Elmsford,?a?region?neighboring?Forestville,?remained?unchanged,?and?automobile?accidents?declined?slightly?during?the?same?six-month?period.??Therefore,?if?the?citizens?of?Forestville?want?to?reduce?the?number?of?automobile?accidents?on?the?region\'s?highways,?they?should?campaign?to?reduce?Forestville\'s?speed?limit?to?what?it?was?before?the?increase.??

This?argument?does?not?have?any?concrete?information.??It?seems?by?Forestville,?increasing?their?speed?limit?more?accidents?occured.??We?all?know?that?accidents?occur?reguardless?of?what?the?speed?limit?of?the?highway?we?travel.??Fortunately,?Elmsford\'s?accidents?decreased?during?the?six-months?in?discussion.??This?could?be?because?of?good?weather,?careful?drivers,?or?any?number?of?situations.??On?the?other?hand,?Forrestville?had?an?increase?in?accidents.??The?only?determining?factor?given?was?the?speed?limit?increasing.?This?in?fact?probably?did?play?a?big?role?in?why?there?was?a?15%?percent?increase?in?the?accidents,?but?may?not?be?the?only?factor.???In?order?to?make?an?accurate?judgement?on?why?there?was?an?increase?in?automobile?accidents?the?situation??needs?to?be?researched.?Solid?facts?need?to?be?stated.???Clearly,?to?reduce?the?speed?limit?back?to?normal?in?Forrestville?would?not?eliminate?the?problem.?Comments:?

This?limited?critique?is?plainly?flawed.??The?author?begins?with?a?criticism?about?the?lack?of?"concrete?information"?but?then?fails?to?provide?any?concrete?analysis?in?the?response.??The?writer?cites?the?drop?in?Elmsford\'s?accidents?but?does?not?develop?any?of?the?reasons?mentioned?to?account?for?the?drop:?"good?weather,?careful?drivers,?or?any?number?of?situations."??

The?writer?then?goes?on?to?discuss?Forestville?and?suggests?that?the?speed?limit?"may?not?be?the?only?factor,"?but?this?point?is?not?developed?either.??The?author?issues?a?generic?call?for?more?research?and?facts?and?offers?an?unsupported?conclusion?of?his?or?her?own:?"Clearly,?to?reduce?the?speed?limit?

would?not?eliminate?the?problem."??Although?the?author?appears?to?know?that?there?is?something?wrong?with?the?argument,?he?or?she?does?not?seem?to?know?how?to?critique?the?argument?in?greater?detail.??

The?response?demonstrates?adequate?control?of?the?elements?of?writing,?but?the?analysis?is?so?underdeveloped?that?it?cannot?earn?a?score?higher?than?3.?

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